Memento Vivere
by layniebleargh
Summary: AU. Ten years of longing is brought to an end by a night that she wouldn't forget. NejiTen.
1. To Touch

**Memento Vivere**

by layniebleargh

~ x ~

_**To touch you...**_

~ x ~

It seems like ages ago when she last stepped on the plain cement floors of her old high school building. It seems like forever since she last ran across the corridor's length, playing with the boys. Yet in reality, it was just ten years ago when she last smelled the woody scent of the benches lining the entrance hall. It has been a decade since she graduated.

Taking a deep breath, she let her feet lead her to the gymnasium, where the batch reunion is being held. _Click click click_. The sound of her heels hitting the floor echoed across the hallway. She shivered and rubbed her naked arms. She used to wear boy shoes and loose jackets. She could not remember the sound and feel of her high school character anymore. She has changed.

She could not even remember half of her batch. The boy - man - at the doors smiled at her and called her name affectionately, but she could not even remember his face. Were they friends? Perhaps. She had a lot of friends.

"Tenten-san!"

A tall, muscular man approached her enthusiastically. Who is he? The pouty lips, straight nose, large eyes, thick eyebrows, bowl-cut... Thick Eyebrows!

"Lee!"

She could've given him a bear hug, but she hasn't given one for years. Instead, she kissed his cheeks and held his hands, taking her time to survey him with narrowed eyes.

"You look good. How have you been?"

If the sense of humor had remained in her, she would've cracked a joke at this point.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. Gai-sensei and I are now running a fitness gym near..."

The tide of time had also affected Lee. As she half-listens to his rant that sounds suspiciously like he is advertising, she surveys the buffet table and her eyes linger on the wine glasses. Not strong enough, but wine still has alcohol. Just seeing the crimson liquid swirl as the drink is being poured, she could already feel desire kick in.

"Can you please excuse me for a moment, Lee?"

Licking her lips in anticipation, she raised the glass, the wine tilting with the solid crystal towards her orifice...

"Isn't it too early for drinking?"

Tenten hesitatingly parted her lips from the glass rim. Moist, bright red lips curled up in a well-practiced smile.

"Really?"

The man looks distinguished. Dressed in a black, velvet tuxedo, he has the air of a recognized businessman. For the moment, however, he seems to be in a relaxed state. The corners of his lips are twitching, as if tempted to smile.

"Tenten, the program has not even started."

The smile dropped from her face in an instant. Something about the way he said her name pulled the strings of her heart, and a numbness started to spread all over her body, like a fever breaking. A falling feeling. A wrenching pain.

"Who are you?"

The man tossed his long brown hair in exasperation, licked his lips, and finally let out a smirk. Now she remembers. The carefree afternoons. The crazy sleepovers. The long phone calls. The unanswered letters.

"Hyuuga..."

Her best friend of many years. The boy who took her heart along with his sudden departure.

"...Neji."

She wanted to shout at him, hit him, strangle him... all those empty hours, listless days, solitary years - he just left, without a word - and everyday, she could not do anything but to hope and yearn. A single tear escaped the box of memories she had long shunned in a corner of her mind, and along with that tear the grief of her heart poured; the anxiety of ten years finally relieved. She felt both stupid and sad; and she knew that she would berate herself later for doing what she is currently doing; but nevertheless she let her emotions reign - and finally hugged her best friend.

* * *


	2. To Feel

**Memento Vivere**

by layniebleargh

~ x ~

_**...to feel you...**_

~ x ~

He had not meant to leave her. He was just young, then, and blinded by ambitions. When his uncle took him abroad to observe the family's international business dealings, his sights were set on managing one of the hotels overseas. He was so focused on earning the family's confidence that before he knew it time had already passed; he even forgot to ask for a break to attend the high school graduation. He briefly remembered to call his best friend at the very least, but then, with the recently entrusted task of running a private inn it took him just a day and a half to completely abandon all thoughts of communication with Tenten.

Five years later, with a college degree and two hotels successfully managed, he suffered from burnout and decided to quit his career as a businessman. He travelled several countries, trying to find a new interest, and heard of a name that he almost forgot.

_"Miss Tenten really had the boss wrapped around her fingers, huh? Sometimes I wonder if the promotions are really because of her socialization skills."_

_"You're just jealous, Ino."_

The blonde scowled and lightly slapped her companion.

_"Take a close look."_

The other woman picked the photograph from her lap, where it had fallen, and raised an eyebrow.

_"Where - no, how - did you get this?"_

_"I've got my sources."_

He never overheard the rest of the gossip; the blonde was already eyeing him with interest, her gaze knowing. She knew he was looking. The rest of the cruise, however, clearly informed her that he was definitely not attracted. Also, she lost the picture she was planning to use as blackmail against her boss; her supposedly relaxing trip ended with a handful of frustrations.

His travels, on the other hand, came to a close with disturbing scraps of information. He should not have asked for an agent to track Tenten's recent history and records; and he should not have stared at the, uh, inappropriate photograph of hers. But still, he couldn't help it. It was very startling to see an image of his best friend straddling her boss, after all, especially since he believed her incapable of even pecking another person on the cheeks.

At the present time, though, he can honestly say that he does not regret having done so. If he had not known about her, he would not have been able to approach her and make amends. He would have been too stunned of the drastic changes she had undergone - the high heels, the daring backless dress, the touch of make-up on her skin, the subtleness of her movements - she had become a far cry from the boisterous, silly Tenten he remembered. However, she is still his best friend Tenten, and a couple of changes should not be enough to change that. Now, standing at least half a head taller - it used to be just an inch or two - he cannot help but pat her head, relishing the readiness of which she accepted him to her life again. The familiar gesture seemed to be too much, though, as the arms encircling his torso tightened hold. Is she sobbing, already?

"Uh, Tenten? I can't breathe."

She gave a particularly loud sniff but nevertheless let go.

"I missed you."

She stated her feelings so plainly, an outsider might mistake their separation to be merely hours. He believes otherwise. The sad glimmer of her eyes is enough to tell him of her pain. She never even came close to tears in all of their school days; come accelerating soccer balls and heavy wooden swords. She had always been tough.

"I know."

"I wrote to you, a hundred times. I called more than a thousand."

He cannot tell her that he had not even opened his mailbox. Had not even looked for the phone he left in his old home.

"I'm sorry."

"Jerk."

She punched him on the shoulder. Hard. It stung. He did not mind. He deserved more. He really was a jerk.

_Hit me more. Hit me harder._

She did not. She ceased moving, just standing in front of him in her messed up, beautiful self, staring straight at his soul with her smoldering eyes; the wine glass she holds in one hand tipping dangerously low, the contents staining the white buffet tablecloth crimson. She wants to hurt him, badly. She wants to hear him out, even if she'll be more hurt. She wants to forgive him and embrace him once more, bring ten years of distance to a close. She misses him terribly, terribly so. At that moment, the angry, shimmering eyes of hers had him mesmerized.


	3. To Be Together

**Memento Vivere**

by layniebleargh

~ x ~

_**...to be with you...**_

~ x ~

She closes her eyes as the soft music fills her ears.

The program has just reached midway, and Neji has been asked to play the piano as dinner is being finished. There are only a few clatters of spoon and fork left; nearly everyone has already eaten. For the moment, people are quietly listening to the performance that was never given in their graduation; the special number by the music club president. To say that it is beautiful is an understatement - each note seems to be beauty itself.

She had always thought that he played the piano better than the guitar. He just kept insisting otherwise.

"Neji-kun missed you too, Tenten-san."

"There you go again, Lee. Stop it."

Ever meddling Lee. When he found the two of them staring each other down by the buffet table an hour ago, he had pulled them together and tried to 'warm them up' - to no avail. Both talked to him, but neither initiated a conversation. However, Lee is more stubborn than a bull, and he never gives up easily.

"The first one he asked for when he arrived here was you."

"Oh, really..."

"Ask him, if you want."

"Not now. We would make up, Lee. Some things just take time."

"But still, you have to take action. You can't put all things up to time."

Tenten took a moment to survey her friend's face before retorting.

"We are adults, aren't we? We know how to make amends already... don't worry about us."

It was Lee's turn to survey her expression.

"Alright, I'll leave you two alone. But please, just try to talk. People won't be around you forever,Tenten-san. And sometimes, there is no coming back once the time is up."

He gave a last meaningful look before leaving her to an empty table; where she lays her head and continues to listen to the music of her heart, the recent conversation echoing every note of the melody. She closes her eyes and shuts her ears. She is being too sentimental for her own liking.

Somehow, one way or another, she had fallen into a stupor in the midst of blocking the rest of the world. Blinking sleep away, she groggily raises her head and meets a blurred vision.

"Sorry?"

She thought she just heard someone talking to her.

"May I take a seat beside you?"

The person has a lot of patience. She thinks he has been attempting a decent conversation with her spaced-out self for the past half hour.

"Okay."

She stares the rest of the foggy vision off. Yep, a man. But when the outlines cleared, she almost choked in surprise - or rather, in alarm.

"Where... where is this? A - oh. Um, where - where are the people? What happened -"

The gymnasium lights are all out, save the dim table candles. There is no other person in sight; it looks like the place has been abandoned in a rush: chairs are in disarray, some even knocked over, coats and shawls unceremoniously draped here and there.

"Relax. Lee just spearheaded a rather childish game of hunt across the school grounds and everyone else thought it is a brilliant idea."

She scowled. She had asked to be left alone, but this is plain extreme. Especially since the only other person left is Neji. If Lee really has something to do with the current arrangement, she will strangle him as soon as possible. The atmosphere is getting more and more unbearable by the minute.

"Why didn't you join, though?"

Neji usually humors Lee. They had been good friends, at the very least. And frankly, if only he isn't with her, she'll even thank the man.

"Do you really want me away that much?"

Ah, he read through the question.

"Yes. Now, let me sleep in peace here."

She is about to resume her position on the tabletop when he yanked her back upright.

"Tenten."

That single word put her to a stop. In between wanting to escape from him that moment and staying together in the expansive hall, the earnest tone of his made her yearn for a closure and a renewed relationship. Ten years is too long an absence; they really need to talk things through. The hand holding her shoulder from the tabletop squeezes her skin so gently and tentatively, and she knows that Neji wants to be heard.

"Alright, I'll listen."

The hand released its grasp and she lets out a breath that she has been subconsciously holding. Soft lavender eyes bored to hers in gratitude.

"There is no enough excuse to whatever I have done to you, Tenten, and I have no intention of covering up past mistakes. I admit, I have been the worst best friend to you. I left without word to pursue an ambition abroad. There were moments when I did think about you; but there was quite some time that I actually forgot everything that led me to what I was. I had been too full of myself."

He holds her hands tightly in his, much tightly so, and she wills herself to hear him out to the very last word. He takes it as a good sign when she makes no move to draw herself away.

"I had been in the family business for five years since I - since I left the country. I got tired, eventually, and quitted the thing I had called a 'dream.' Then I took to traveling; which had me, not more than a season later, picking up my pen. Funny how things work, huh? Took me just a month or two to realize what I really want in life; while five years I toiled through just to find out in the end that I'm pursuing the wrong thing."

She is surprised when, instead of letting out a bitter laugh, he chuckled in genuine amusement.

"Served me right, though, didn't I? I had always been too ungrateful for what I had. Always wanting more."

He shots her an appreciative look. She is startled by the sudden mood lift, and the subtle smile on his lips.

"I have a nice family, I suppose, and a lot more luck and fortune than most. Good friends, good people, and you."

"Eew. I can't believe you're pulling that line on me."

He smirks, she grins, they laugh. Almost like the old days.

"Tenten."

"Hm?"

His expression drops all mirth, his gaze intent and serious.

"I know about what happened to you after I left. Please, you may have been gravely affected by my sudden departure, but love yourself a little more. It nearly broke me, knowing how much farther you have drifted from what we used to be..."

She is shocked by the sudden revelation, and gapes at him, not believing; not prepared to know that he knows the truth in her - it cannot be, it is more than embarrassing, it is humiliating -

She continues to deny the reality of the unexpected turn of events; until, just as unexpected, or even more so, Neji brings their bodies close together in a bone crushing embrace and kissed her.


	4. To Accept

**Memento Vivere**

by layniebleargh

~ x ~

_**...to accept you...**_

~ x ~

He holds her tightly, as if she would disappear anytime soon. She shudders in his arms, and the tremors scare him more than anything else; but what has to be done should be done. There is no point in leading her on - dark confessions would hurt more when prolonged. No matter what, secrets do come out, and the sooner they are revealed the sooner false hopes and empty promises are crushed. Honesty and reality open wounds the harshest way - but it is the immense pain that clears a space for true, undaunted happiness.

He breaks the kiss.

"Tenten is the private secretary and consultant of Shikamaru Nara, the head of the research and development department of the country's leading drug company."

She stares at him motionlessly, still in shock.

"She was first admitted as a research scientist in the company, but Nara sees potential in beguiling business partners and important figures; groomed her to the status of assistant to the head, and started including her in transactions."

He stares back, wondering how far he should - could - push.

"Normally, it requires just a little charm and smart talk to deal with such... events. But Tenten seems to believe otherwise. She did many other things to please the clients - such as offering exclusive services - and relationships did not end within the conference rooms and meeting areas. For example, Shino Aburame, a prominent entomologist, was said to hold an attraction -"

"No..."

"- towards Nara's assistant, who took perfect advantage of the opportunity and secured an important research venture 'in private session' -"

"Stop..."

"- all unbeknownst to her boss, who was expecting her in his own house that very night -"

"Stop, please..."

He bites his lip, unable to go on. It was too much, really. The secret affairs, the unwritten contracts, the sneaking around, and lately, the addiction...

He clenches his hands, barely resisting the urge to shatter the wine glasses. She could have worked elsewhere, worked another job, could have been with men who would really care for her - she would have been happy now, as she should be.

"Just how low do you plan to sink, Tenten?"

"Neji please..."

"When I found out about you, and him, and them... about what happened to you... do you know what I felt like? I felt like shit, Tenten."

His fingers trace her lips, the lips that should have remained chaste. Damn, he should be blamed. He was the only one she got, and what did he do? He left her hanging in the air. And now, when he decides to just barge back into her life, the first thing he does is to break her world. Selfish bastard.

When Tenten slaps him hard across the face, leaving his skin red and smarting, he smiles.

"You have no idea what real shit is."

"I'm sorry."

"I hate you."

"Please do. But when you're through, let's live again, shall we?"

The anger in her eyes is the only thing he needs to see before pulling her out beneath the velvet sky...

The engine roars with life as she turns his key. She gears for full speed before delivering him the most tempting smirk, as if daring him to hang on the passenger's side. In a split second, with a loud screech of wheels, they flew. Yes - tonight, they would die.


End file.
